Wishes

My friends tell me I'm so thin.
My family says I need to eat more.
I wish I could believe them.
I wish part of me would listen.
And I know they mean the best,
But I know what I disguise.
I know that fluffy skirt won't show
Fat cllinging to my thighs.
I also know that I can't be content
If I cannot be a spector of me now.
At least I know they see
Nothing wrong with me.
My personality
Has well hidden
My skinny-ridden,
Fragile, frame of mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stream of Consciousness. I guess you could say these poems are my signature. I wrote them even before I knew they had a name. Essentially, they are myself, in the most pure, raw form of my thoughts. The words each reflect who I am. I strongly encourage any writer to try this form of poetry at least once. Good luck writing!

Thin Together

There is the boy who tells me its ok
To be the way I am.
He thinks I am beautiful,
Though his compliments are very round about.
He is one of the reasons I hold on.
He is thin like me,
But not for the same reasons.
He and I laugh at
The fat that plagues the people around us.
He doesn't think that I starve myself,
But he knows I don't eat much.
He is not judgemental of me,
And he is so accepting.
Fate was kind to provide me a best friend
The day I met him.
Maybe one day long from now,
I will be able fall in love.
And when that day comes,
Maybe the two of us can be thin together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wrote this poem about one of my best friends. I will probably never be able to show him this poem, because he doesn't know I have an eating disorder. I don't think he would judge me, but he would try to help. And as of now, I don't want to be helped. He also cannot see the end of the poem when I said I will maybe fall in love with him someday.

This is free-verse. There is no rhyme or meter. I honestly don't even know if anyone will like it. I really didn't read through it besides just writing it. It is nearly a pure stream of consciousness. I re-worded one or two lines, but other than that, this is a segment of my thoughts. I would encourage other people to write stream of consciousness poems, because they allow us to be honest and open with each other. Good Luck Writing!

Mirror

I HUNGER for the day
When FAT melts away
And FAILURE stops haunting my soul
My BONES will be pure
When my light WEIGHT is sure
And the SCALE is no longer my foe

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This poem was written in English class. similar to a stream of consciousness, it is derived from your initial reactions to a topic. However, when you are given or come up with a topic, think of 5 or 6 words that you think of when you first hear, or see, or whatever the topic word. "Mirror" was my topic word. Next, you write each line to contain one of the words (preferably in the order you thought of them) so they make sense. I capitalized the words I had initially thought. This is a rather simple concept, but if you really wanted to push yourself, you could try writing a longer poem! Good luck writing!

KJ (A Poem to me from Neil)

Her name is Kerry and she is sixteen years old
Known to be from America
In her own right there is no-one better than her
She whispered in my ear and told me the truth
Never lying to me or her friends on PT
Very pleased to meet me
Talented in the way of poetry
Seen one picture of her and she's so pretty
Her name is Kerry
Kerry rhymes with very
That's very for very talented in the way of poetry
Had a few problems with her health
Her strength will keep her well
Instead of being thrown down to the darkness on hell
Her light shines
So bright to a new friend of mine
Cute suits you
With not a mask to hide from
An enchanting face is nothing new
She puts a smile on your face like a Christmas play
My favourite character KJ

Beauty is to be Thin

Beauty can't simply be defined
By reference books or sites
Though people often feel inclined
To go to greatest heights
Converting pictures into words
To spring the thought to life. . .
Sky scrapers, fresh air, trees, and birds
But cutting like a knife
You realize of all these things
That none of the sufice
But one idea that softly sings
With words like silky ice
It sinks your heart to deep dispair and violent crying. Then
You notice with a sudden light: Beauty is to be Thin

~~~~~~~~~~

This is a Shakespearean sonnet. A little bit more structured than I would usually write, but I wrote this to push myself. Stretching one's self often helps one to improve one's writing style. Good luck writing!

Thin

Feels like freedom from excess weight holding you down
Looks nicer than everyone else's chubby frown
Tastes better than anything - A taste of its own
Sounds like almost nothing - Thin isn't loud
Smells like perfume, green tea, gum, but blends in with the crowd.

~~~~~

This is  a sensory poem. Each line describes how the theme word/title affects that sense. Pretty straight-forward. These can be free-verse, or rhyme and have meter, whatever. They are your creations, so write what you feel! Good luck!

For clarification, when I say "blends in with the crowd," I mean that 'thin' doesn't want to stand out in the sense of people noticing an eating disorder. I, for one, never try to blend in the sense that I want to be just like everyone else.

Food

Overindulgence. Crafty. I don't like meat.

I want coffee for lunch.

He always eats with me. We don't eat.

Talk instead. . . I like talking.

Expensive. Snooty. Dull.

Too much work. Not enough time.

Smells bad. Tastes funny. Why bother?

Keep going, I don't want to finnish.

I hate it. We need it.

Viscious Circle

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is my very first stream of consciousness poem that I wrote in 10th grade. (Be generous. I was only a sophomore.) I wrote this during a class activity in English during our poetry unit. Since then, I have really fallen in love with this style. Its so pure and unrestricted. Its free-verse, free-everything pretty much. The poem is literally a reflection of your thought process. You can't force anything. You just write what you think. Once you have a topic (or someone gives you a topic,) write down everything that comes to your mind, however it comes to your mind, for a few minutes or until you have written as much as you want to. you can change lines when ever you like. The main idea is just to write. you can edit it later to fit your liking, or leave it a pure stream of consciousness. I prefer to leave it pure so that the privileged few who read it can see a little bit of the way I think. I guess it just seams a little bit more real to me that way. 


As always, thank you for reading, and good luck writing!

"Limitations" and "Perfection"

"Limitations"

Like the rules we so often seek to bend,
I cannot stand the boundaries that are so often set for
Me.Why is your standpoint flawless, and mine
Is dangerous and labled with other pejoratives?
The way I look to me should
Always be more important than your discriptions.
Telling me that my view is wrong
Is one of the best ways to make my
Opinions only seem the more right in my eyes.
None of what you have said to me meant anything
Since your words are not full of love, but judgement.

~~~~~~~~~~~

This is an acrostic poem. I am sure most people had to write similar poems in elementary school, but those were probably the name of your pet, or your favorite color. Your thoughts were each contained in separate lines. Some of your lines may have only contained an adjective or two. This is a bit of a stream of consciousness. It is very free-verse other than the obvious vertical spelling of the word "limitations." I wrote this poem to be ambiguous so I could use it to show how CREATIVE acrostics are written without condemning myself and revealing my eating disorder. If you look very closely though, I'm sure you could see it peeking through a little bit though. The following poem is disguising the eating disorder far less. I hope you enjoy them both. And I also hope that you will be inspired to try something like this of your own! Good luck!

~~~~~

"Perfection"


Perspective makes all the difference when
Everyone is making judgements.
Rather than be criticized, and always
Fail their little tests, I will just stop
Eating. If I could just reduce the amount I
Consume, then I would be
Thin enough for them to think I am beautiful. My own
Image is distorted to me. No matter what I will seem
Overweight in my own eyes. You can't change me and your
Negativity will never fix what you see as my problems.